Latest recipes

How to Turn Down a Dinner Invitation You’ve Already Accepted

How to Turn Down a Dinner Invitation You’ve Already Accepted


We are searching data for your request:

Forums and discussions:
Manuals and reference books:
Data from registers:
Wait the end of the search in all databases.
Upon completion, a link will appear to access the found materials.

We’ve all been there: hastily accepting a dinner invitation, excited at the thought of an evening with friends enjoying delicious food, fabulous wine, and wonderful company. Our schedules have packed up around the date, we’re totally exhausted and just want to climb into bed, we need to catch up on work, we want to spend an evening with the kids, or we’re feeling totally run down. We don’t have to be bed-bound with the flu or totally rammed and pulling an all-nighter at work to want to change a dinner RSVP from yes to no.

But what’s the best way to go about undoing your decision? No matter the reason, whether there is one or not, there’s definitely a best way to get out of attending this dinner party. Here are the steps to go through.

First, don’t overthink it. Don’t stress about upsetting your friend, annoying them, or ruining their week, month, or year. There’s no need to worry about turning down an invitation you have already accepted, as long as you give sufficient warning and have a valid excuse.

Second, clarify your excuse. If you’ve been invited with your partner and are now both not attending, make sure you’ve got your story straight. And keep your excuse simple. A long, convoluted story about why you can no longer attend will look suspicious, will be hard to repeat when questioned, and will only make your host think you simply don’t want to attend. Even if that’s the truth, you obviously don’t want your friend to think that. One simple explanation for your change of RSVP, such as “I’m sick,” “I have a work event,” or “I have a family thing,” are all great reasons. And remember, if you are telling a white lie to get out of going, you need to be invisible and silent during the dinner party evening. Don’t start sharing what you’re actually doing all over your Facebook profile.

Third, try to blame someone else. It’s always best if you can pass the buck on to a colleague/boss/parent/child, so the host can’t be annoyed with you, can’t do anything to persuade you to change your mind, and can hold nothing against you for your behavior.

Fourth, apologize profusely. No apology is too much. If these really are people you want to remain friends with, invite them over to your place for dinner sometime in the not too distant future, to make it clear that this was just a one-off blip. And if they’re clearly still annoyed, upset, or disgruntled by your change of RSVP, send a gift: Flowers, wine, or chocolate will always go a long way in rectifying the situation.


How To Politely Decline An Invitation To Thanksgiving Dinner

One of the more complicated parts of navigating the world right now is figuring out what feels safe to you, and how that fits in with the decisions being made by the people around you. Figuring out your own boundaries is complicated enough, and then you have to hope they match up with your parents’ boundaries, or those of your friends, or your in-laws, or your neighbours.

Ahead of the holidays, a lot of us will likely have to make tough calls about whether it feels safe to get together. With rising COVID-19 case loads and vague, sometimes conflicting messaging from our governments, it’s a stressful situation without a ton of clarity — but the safest choice is not being indoors with people who you don’t live with.

If you’ve decided you don’t feel safe going to a Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas gathering or anywhere else this season, and you need to politely decline an invitation from a well-meaning friend or family member, here’s how to do it.

Stick to your decision

It’s not easy to figure out our own boundaries right now. But once we’ve arrived at a conclusion, experts say it’s best to stick to our guns and not let ourselves by swayed by anyone else’s choices.

“The challenge is to not second-guess ourselves,” psychologist Dr. Vaile Wright told USA Today. “Once we made whatever that risk-benefit analysis is for us and our families about what feels safe and OK for us, then we need to just be OK with that decision and kind of move forward.”

Be clear and straightforward

You shouldn’t have to get too detailed about your own decision-making process. Just saying something like, “I wish I could be there but I’m avoiding indoor gatherings because of COVID,” is clear and understandable.

“Your sole purpose is to accept or decline an invitation. We’re taking on too much with the feeling that we need to go into detail and explain,” etiquette expert Elaine Swann told the Los Angeles Times.

Going into too much detail “is where you open yourself up for conversation and scrutiny and debate,” she said.

Use “I” statements to avoid sounding judgy

When you’re talking to the person whose invitation you’re declining, focus on your own thinking rather than theirs, so that what you’re saying doesn’t sound accusatory.

“The tricky part of this, of course, is the potential that the other person might feel like we are judging their position or saying, ‘You shouldn’t be doing X,’” University of Toronto psychology professor Steven Joordens told Global News.

Wright told USA Today to avoid “you statements.”

“Saying something like, ‘You aren’t following the rules, therefore I can’t come over to Thanksgiving,’ is going to make the other person defensive and you’re not going to be as effective,” she said.

Instead, say something about yourself, like ”‘I feel uncomfortable bringing my family around this year, so we’re going to have to say no to Thanksgiving.’”

Convey your disappointment

According to Joordens, talking about the dinner as something you’re sad to have to opt out of, rather than something unpleasant that’s being hoisted on you, will make a big difference.

“It’s very perfectly reasonable to say, ‘You know, I really appreciate it. You don’t know how much I would love to spend that time with you. Like all of you, I’m really missing that horribly. But I’m worried,’” he told the outlet.

If it’s clear to the host that it’s the circumstances you have to say no to, not their generosity, they’re less likely to feel rejected.

Saying something like “It’s hard for me to tell you this because I really want to be there, but I won’t be able to enjoy myself because I’ll be too nervous” might get the message across.

Suggest an alternative

Suggesting a Thanksgiving Zoom call, or a long phone call the next day, might make your declining the invitation easier for the host to accept. That way, you’re not offering them a blanket no, you’re offering something else instead.

Practice if you’re nervous

If you’re someone who doesn’t have a ton of practice being assertive, it can be helpful to plan out what you’re going to say and how you want to say it. Saying something out loud a few times can make a big difference in how convincing and firm you make it sound.

Joordens suggested to Healthing that preparing a script can help, if you’re someone who tends to stumble over your words or lose your conviction.

Consider sending a gift

If it’s a formal dinner and you have the means, you could consider sending over flowers or pitching in for a pie. Even sending a card is a nice gesture, either before or after the meal itself — just something that shows that you’re thinking about that person, and that you do actually want to spend time with them in the future.

Don’t take it personally If they get mad you

If you’ve gone out of your way to be kind and considerate and someone still doesn’t accept your choice, that’s not your fault. These are unprecedented times, and everyone is struggling to some extent. Making the right decision for yourself is more important than putting yourself at risk when you don’t want to.

“We are dealing with a worldwide pandemic and this is what our current state of affairs looks like,” Swann told the LA Times. “It’s really important for us to be mindful in that regard and be bold and empowered enough . Right now you’re doing your part for the health of yourself and your loved ones.”


How To Politely Decline An Invitation To Thanksgiving Dinner

One of the more complicated parts of navigating the world right now is figuring out what feels safe to you, and how that fits in with the decisions being made by the people around you. Figuring out your own boundaries is complicated enough, and then you have to hope they match up with your parents’ boundaries, or those of your friends, or your in-laws, or your neighbours.

Ahead of the holidays, a lot of us will likely have to make tough calls about whether it feels safe to get together. With rising COVID-19 case loads and vague, sometimes conflicting messaging from our governments, it’s a stressful situation without a ton of clarity — but the safest choice is not being indoors with people who you don’t live with.

If you’ve decided you don’t feel safe going to a Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas gathering or anywhere else this season, and you need to politely decline an invitation from a well-meaning friend or family member, here’s how to do it.

Stick to your decision

It’s not easy to figure out our own boundaries right now. But once we’ve arrived at a conclusion, experts say it’s best to stick to our guns and not let ourselves by swayed by anyone else’s choices.

“The challenge is to not second-guess ourselves,” psychologist Dr. Vaile Wright told USA Today. “Once we made whatever that risk-benefit analysis is for us and our families about what feels safe and OK for us, then we need to just be OK with that decision and kind of move forward.”

Be clear and straightforward

You shouldn’t have to get too detailed about your own decision-making process. Just saying something like, “I wish I could be there but I’m avoiding indoor gatherings because of COVID,” is clear and understandable.

“Your sole purpose is to accept or decline an invitation. We’re taking on too much with the feeling that we need to go into detail and explain,” etiquette expert Elaine Swann told the Los Angeles Times.

Going into too much detail “is where you open yourself up for conversation and scrutiny and debate,” she said.

Use “I” statements to avoid sounding judgy

When you’re talking to the person whose invitation you’re declining, focus on your own thinking rather than theirs, so that what you’re saying doesn’t sound accusatory.

“The tricky part of this, of course, is the potential that the other person might feel like we are judging their position or saying, ‘You shouldn’t be doing X,’” University of Toronto psychology professor Steven Joordens told Global News.

Wright told USA Today to avoid “you statements.”

“Saying something like, ‘You aren’t following the rules, therefore I can’t come over to Thanksgiving,’ is going to make the other person defensive and you’re not going to be as effective,” she said.

Instead, say something about yourself, like ”‘I feel uncomfortable bringing my family around this year, so we’re going to have to say no to Thanksgiving.’”

Convey your disappointment

According to Joordens, talking about the dinner as something you’re sad to have to opt out of, rather than something unpleasant that’s being hoisted on you, will make a big difference.

“It’s very perfectly reasonable to say, ‘You know, I really appreciate it. You don’t know how much I would love to spend that time with you. Like all of you, I’m really missing that horribly. But I’m worried,’” he told the outlet.

If it’s clear to the host that it’s the circumstances you have to say no to, not their generosity, they’re less likely to feel rejected.

Saying something like “It’s hard for me to tell you this because I really want to be there, but I won’t be able to enjoy myself because I’ll be too nervous” might get the message across.

Suggest an alternative

Suggesting a Thanksgiving Zoom call, or a long phone call the next day, might make your declining the invitation easier for the host to accept. That way, you’re not offering them a blanket no, you’re offering something else instead.

Practice if you’re nervous

If you’re someone who doesn’t have a ton of practice being assertive, it can be helpful to plan out what you’re going to say and how you want to say it. Saying something out loud a few times can make a big difference in how convincing and firm you make it sound.

Joordens suggested to Healthing that preparing a script can help, if you’re someone who tends to stumble over your words or lose your conviction.

Consider sending a gift

If it’s a formal dinner and you have the means, you could consider sending over flowers or pitching in for a pie. Even sending a card is a nice gesture, either before or after the meal itself — just something that shows that you’re thinking about that person, and that you do actually want to spend time with them in the future.

Don’t take it personally If they get mad you

If you’ve gone out of your way to be kind and considerate and someone still doesn’t accept your choice, that’s not your fault. These are unprecedented times, and everyone is struggling to some extent. Making the right decision for yourself is more important than putting yourself at risk when you don’t want to.

“We are dealing with a worldwide pandemic and this is what our current state of affairs looks like,” Swann told the LA Times. “It’s really important for us to be mindful in that regard and be bold and empowered enough . Right now you’re doing your part for the health of yourself and your loved ones.”


How To Politely Decline An Invitation To Thanksgiving Dinner

One of the more complicated parts of navigating the world right now is figuring out what feels safe to you, and how that fits in with the decisions being made by the people around you. Figuring out your own boundaries is complicated enough, and then you have to hope they match up with your parents’ boundaries, or those of your friends, or your in-laws, or your neighbours.

Ahead of the holidays, a lot of us will likely have to make tough calls about whether it feels safe to get together. With rising COVID-19 case loads and vague, sometimes conflicting messaging from our governments, it’s a stressful situation without a ton of clarity — but the safest choice is not being indoors with people who you don’t live with.

If you’ve decided you don’t feel safe going to a Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas gathering or anywhere else this season, and you need to politely decline an invitation from a well-meaning friend or family member, here’s how to do it.

Stick to your decision

It’s not easy to figure out our own boundaries right now. But once we’ve arrived at a conclusion, experts say it’s best to stick to our guns and not let ourselves by swayed by anyone else’s choices.

“The challenge is to not second-guess ourselves,” psychologist Dr. Vaile Wright told USA Today. “Once we made whatever that risk-benefit analysis is for us and our families about what feels safe and OK for us, then we need to just be OK with that decision and kind of move forward.”

Be clear and straightforward

You shouldn’t have to get too detailed about your own decision-making process. Just saying something like, “I wish I could be there but I’m avoiding indoor gatherings because of COVID,” is clear and understandable.

“Your sole purpose is to accept or decline an invitation. We’re taking on too much with the feeling that we need to go into detail and explain,” etiquette expert Elaine Swann told the Los Angeles Times.

Going into too much detail “is where you open yourself up for conversation and scrutiny and debate,” she said.

Use “I” statements to avoid sounding judgy

When you’re talking to the person whose invitation you’re declining, focus on your own thinking rather than theirs, so that what you’re saying doesn’t sound accusatory.

“The tricky part of this, of course, is the potential that the other person might feel like we are judging their position or saying, ‘You shouldn’t be doing X,’” University of Toronto psychology professor Steven Joordens told Global News.

Wright told USA Today to avoid “you statements.”

“Saying something like, ‘You aren’t following the rules, therefore I can’t come over to Thanksgiving,’ is going to make the other person defensive and you’re not going to be as effective,” she said.

Instead, say something about yourself, like ”‘I feel uncomfortable bringing my family around this year, so we’re going to have to say no to Thanksgiving.’”

Convey your disappointment

According to Joordens, talking about the dinner as something you’re sad to have to opt out of, rather than something unpleasant that’s being hoisted on you, will make a big difference.

“It’s very perfectly reasonable to say, ‘You know, I really appreciate it. You don’t know how much I would love to spend that time with you. Like all of you, I’m really missing that horribly. But I’m worried,’” he told the outlet.

If it’s clear to the host that it’s the circumstances you have to say no to, not their generosity, they’re less likely to feel rejected.

Saying something like “It’s hard for me to tell you this because I really want to be there, but I won’t be able to enjoy myself because I’ll be too nervous” might get the message across.

Suggest an alternative

Suggesting a Thanksgiving Zoom call, or a long phone call the next day, might make your declining the invitation easier for the host to accept. That way, you’re not offering them a blanket no, you’re offering something else instead.

Practice if you’re nervous

If you’re someone who doesn’t have a ton of practice being assertive, it can be helpful to plan out what you’re going to say and how you want to say it. Saying something out loud a few times can make a big difference in how convincing and firm you make it sound.

Joordens suggested to Healthing that preparing a script can help, if you’re someone who tends to stumble over your words or lose your conviction.

Consider sending a gift

If it’s a formal dinner and you have the means, you could consider sending over flowers or pitching in for a pie. Even sending a card is a nice gesture, either before or after the meal itself — just something that shows that you’re thinking about that person, and that you do actually want to spend time with them in the future.

Don’t take it personally If they get mad you

If you’ve gone out of your way to be kind and considerate and someone still doesn’t accept your choice, that’s not your fault. These are unprecedented times, and everyone is struggling to some extent. Making the right decision for yourself is more important than putting yourself at risk when you don’t want to.

“We are dealing with a worldwide pandemic and this is what our current state of affairs looks like,” Swann told the LA Times. “It’s really important for us to be mindful in that regard and be bold and empowered enough . Right now you’re doing your part for the health of yourself and your loved ones.”


How To Politely Decline An Invitation To Thanksgiving Dinner

One of the more complicated parts of navigating the world right now is figuring out what feels safe to you, and how that fits in with the decisions being made by the people around you. Figuring out your own boundaries is complicated enough, and then you have to hope they match up with your parents’ boundaries, or those of your friends, or your in-laws, or your neighbours.

Ahead of the holidays, a lot of us will likely have to make tough calls about whether it feels safe to get together. With rising COVID-19 case loads and vague, sometimes conflicting messaging from our governments, it’s a stressful situation without a ton of clarity — but the safest choice is not being indoors with people who you don’t live with.

If you’ve decided you don’t feel safe going to a Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas gathering or anywhere else this season, and you need to politely decline an invitation from a well-meaning friend or family member, here’s how to do it.

Stick to your decision

It’s not easy to figure out our own boundaries right now. But once we’ve arrived at a conclusion, experts say it’s best to stick to our guns and not let ourselves by swayed by anyone else’s choices.

“The challenge is to not second-guess ourselves,” psychologist Dr. Vaile Wright told USA Today. “Once we made whatever that risk-benefit analysis is for us and our families about what feels safe and OK for us, then we need to just be OK with that decision and kind of move forward.”

Be clear and straightforward

You shouldn’t have to get too detailed about your own decision-making process. Just saying something like, “I wish I could be there but I’m avoiding indoor gatherings because of COVID,” is clear and understandable.

“Your sole purpose is to accept or decline an invitation. We’re taking on too much with the feeling that we need to go into detail and explain,” etiquette expert Elaine Swann told the Los Angeles Times.

Going into too much detail “is where you open yourself up for conversation and scrutiny and debate,” she said.

Use “I” statements to avoid sounding judgy

When you’re talking to the person whose invitation you’re declining, focus on your own thinking rather than theirs, so that what you’re saying doesn’t sound accusatory.

“The tricky part of this, of course, is the potential that the other person might feel like we are judging their position or saying, ‘You shouldn’t be doing X,’” University of Toronto psychology professor Steven Joordens told Global News.

Wright told USA Today to avoid “you statements.”

“Saying something like, ‘You aren’t following the rules, therefore I can’t come over to Thanksgiving,’ is going to make the other person defensive and you’re not going to be as effective,” she said.

Instead, say something about yourself, like ”‘I feel uncomfortable bringing my family around this year, so we’re going to have to say no to Thanksgiving.’”

Convey your disappointment

According to Joordens, talking about the dinner as something you’re sad to have to opt out of, rather than something unpleasant that’s being hoisted on you, will make a big difference.

“It’s very perfectly reasonable to say, ‘You know, I really appreciate it. You don’t know how much I would love to spend that time with you. Like all of you, I’m really missing that horribly. But I’m worried,’” he told the outlet.

If it’s clear to the host that it’s the circumstances you have to say no to, not their generosity, they’re less likely to feel rejected.

Saying something like “It’s hard for me to tell you this because I really want to be there, but I won’t be able to enjoy myself because I’ll be too nervous” might get the message across.

Suggest an alternative

Suggesting a Thanksgiving Zoom call, or a long phone call the next day, might make your declining the invitation easier for the host to accept. That way, you’re not offering them a blanket no, you’re offering something else instead.

Practice if you’re nervous

If you’re someone who doesn’t have a ton of practice being assertive, it can be helpful to plan out what you’re going to say and how you want to say it. Saying something out loud a few times can make a big difference in how convincing and firm you make it sound.

Joordens suggested to Healthing that preparing a script can help, if you’re someone who tends to stumble over your words or lose your conviction.

Consider sending a gift

If it’s a formal dinner and you have the means, you could consider sending over flowers or pitching in for a pie. Even sending a card is a nice gesture, either before or after the meal itself — just something that shows that you’re thinking about that person, and that you do actually want to spend time with them in the future.

Don’t take it personally If they get mad you

If you’ve gone out of your way to be kind and considerate and someone still doesn’t accept your choice, that’s not your fault. These are unprecedented times, and everyone is struggling to some extent. Making the right decision for yourself is more important than putting yourself at risk when you don’t want to.

“We are dealing with a worldwide pandemic and this is what our current state of affairs looks like,” Swann told the LA Times. “It’s really important for us to be mindful in that regard and be bold and empowered enough . Right now you’re doing your part for the health of yourself and your loved ones.”


How To Politely Decline An Invitation To Thanksgiving Dinner

One of the more complicated parts of navigating the world right now is figuring out what feels safe to you, and how that fits in with the decisions being made by the people around you. Figuring out your own boundaries is complicated enough, and then you have to hope they match up with your parents’ boundaries, or those of your friends, or your in-laws, or your neighbours.

Ahead of the holidays, a lot of us will likely have to make tough calls about whether it feels safe to get together. With rising COVID-19 case loads and vague, sometimes conflicting messaging from our governments, it’s a stressful situation without a ton of clarity — but the safest choice is not being indoors with people who you don’t live with.

If you’ve decided you don’t feel safe going to a Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas gathering or anywhere else this season, and you need to politely decline an invitation from a well-meaning friend or family member, here’s how to do it.

Stick to your decision

It’s not easy to figure out our own boundaries right now. But once we’ve arrived at a conclusion, experts say it’s best to stick to our guns and not let ourselves by swayed by anyone else’s choices.

“The challenge is to not second-guess ourselves,” psychologist Dr. Vaile Wright told USA Today. “Once we made whatever that risk-benefit analysis is for us and our families about what feels safe and OK for us, then we need to just be OK with that decision and kind of move forward.”

Be clear and straightforward

You shouldn’t have to get too detailed about your own decision-making process. Just saying something like, “I wish I could be there but I’m avoiding indoor gatherings because of COVID,” is clear and understandable.

“Your sole purpose is to accept or decline an invitation. We’re taking on too much with the feeling that we need to go into detail and explain,” etiquette expert Elaine Swann told the Los Angeles Times.

Going into too much detail “is where you open yourself up for conversation and scrutiny and debate,” she said.

Use “I” statements to avoid sounding judgy

When you’re talking to the person whose invitation you’re declining, focus on your own thinking rather than theirs, so that what you’re saying doesn’t sound accusatory.

“The tricky part of this, of course, is the potential that the other person might feel like we are judging their position or saying, ‘You shouldn’t be doing X,’” University of Toronto psychology professor Steven Joordens told Global News.

Wright told USA Today to avoid “you statements.”

“Saying something like, ‘You aren’t following the rules, therefore I can’t come over to Thanksgiving,’ is going to make the other person defensive and you’re not going to be as effective,” she said.

Instead, say something about yourself, like ”‘I feel uncomfortable bringing my family around this year, so we’re going to have to say no to Thanksgiving.’”

Convey your disappointment

According to Joordens, talking about the dinner as something you’re sad to have to opt out of, rather than something unpleasant that’s being hoisted on you, will make a big difference.

“It’s very perfectly reasonable to say, ‘You know, I really appreciate it. You don’t know how much I would love to spend that time with you. Like all of you, I’m really missing that horribly. But I’m worried,’” he told the outlet.

If it’s clear to the host that it’s the circumstances you have to say no to, not their generosity, they’re less likely to feel rejected.

Saying something like “It’s hard for me to tell you this because I really want to be there, but I won’t be able to enjoy myself because I’ll be too nervous” might get the message across.

Suggest an alternative

Suggesting a Thanksgiving Zoom call, or a long phone call the next day, might make your declining the invitation easier for the host to accept. That way, you’re not offering them a blanket no, you’re offering something else instead.

Practice if you’re nervous

If you’re someone who doesn’t have a ton of practice being assertive, it can be helpful to plan out what you’re going to say and how you want to say it. Saying something out loud a few times can make a big difference in how convincing and firm you make it sound.

Joordens suggested to Healthing that preparing a script can help, if you’re someone who tends to stumble over your words or lose your conviction.

Consider sending a gift

If it’s a formal dinner and you have the means, you could consider sending over flowers or pitching in for a pie. Even sending a card is a nice gesture, either before or after the meal itself — just something that shows that you’re thinking about that person, and that you do actually want to spend time with them in the future.

Don’t take it personally If they get mad you

If you’ve gone out of your way to be kind and considerate and someone still doesn’t accept your choice, that’s not your fault. These are unprecedented times, and everyone is struggling to some extent. Making the right decision for yourself is more important than putting yourself at risk when you don’t want to.

“We are dealing with a worldwide pandemic and this is what our current state of affairs looks like,” Swann told the LA Times. “It’s really important for us to be mindful in that regard and be bold and empowered enough . Right now you’re doing your part for the health of yourself and your loved ones.”


How To Politely Decline An Invitation To Thanksgiving Dinner

One of the more complicated parts of navigating the world right now is figuring out what feels safe to you, and how that fits in with the decisions being made by the people around you. Figuring out your own boundaries is complicated enough, and then you have to hope they match up with your parents’ boundaries, or those of your friends, or your in-laws, or your neighbours.

Ahead of the holidays, a lot of us will likely have to make tough calls about whether it feels safe to get together. With rising COVID-19 case loads and vague, sometimes conflicting messaging from our governments, it’s a stressful situation without a ton of clarity — but the safest choice is not being indoors with people who you don’t live with.

If you’ve decided you don’t feel safe going to a Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas gathering or anywhere else this season, and you need to politely decline an invitation from a well-meaning friend or family member, here’s how to do it.

Stick to your decision

It’s not easy to figure out our own boundaries right now. But once we’ve arrived at a conclusion, experts say it’s best to stick to our guns and not let ourselves by swayed by anyone else’s choices.

“The challenge is to not second-guess ourselves,” psychologist Dr. Vaile Wright told USA Today. “Once we made whatever that risk-benefit analysis is for us and our families about what feels safe and OK for us, then we need to just be OK with that decision and kind of move forward.”

Be clear and straightforward

You shouldn’t have to get too detailed about your own decision-making process. Just saying something like, “I wish I could be there but I’m avoiding indoor gatherings because of COVID,” is clear and understandable.

“Your sole purpose is to accept or decline an invitation. We’re taking on too much with the feeling that we need to go into detail and explain,” etiquette expert Elaine Swann told the Los Angeles Times.

Going into too much detail “is where you open yourself up for conversation and scrutiny and debate,” she said.

Use “I” statements to avoid sounding judgy

When you’re talking to the person whose invitation you’re declining, focus on your own thinking rather than theirs, so that what you’re saying doesn’t sound accusatory.

“The tricky part of this, of course, is the potential that the other person might feel like we are judging their position or saying, ‘You shouldn’t be doing X,’” University of Toronto psychology professor Steven Joordens told Global News.

Wright told USA Today to avoid “you statements.”

“Saying something like, ‘You aren’t following the rules, therefore I can’t come over to Thanksgiving,’ is going to make the other person defensive and you’re not going to be as effective,” she said.

Instead, say something about yourself, like ”‘I feel uncomfortable bringing my family around this year, so we’re going to have to say no to Thanksgiving.’”

Convey your disappointment

According to Joordens, talking about the dinner as something you’re sad to have to opt out of, rather than something unpleasant that’s being hoisted on you, will make a big difference.

“It’s very perfectly reasonable to say, ‘You know, I really appreciate it. You don’t know how much I would love to spend that time with you. Like all of you, I’m really missing that horribly. But I’m worried,’” he told the outlet.

If it’s clear to the host that it’s the circumstances you have to say no to, not their generosity, they’re less likely to feel rejected.

Saying something like “It’s hard for me to tell you this because I really want to be there, but I won’t be able to enjoy myself because I’ll be too nervous” might get the message across.

Suggest an alternative

Suggesting a Thanksgiving Zoom call, or a long phone call the next day, might make your declining the invitation easier for the host to accept. That way, you’re not offering them a blanket no, you’re offering something else instead.

Practice if you’re nervous

If you’re someone who doesn’t have a ton of practice being assertive, it can be helpful to plan out what you’re going to say and how you want to say it. Saying something out loud a few times can make a big difference in how convincing and firm you make it sound.

Joordens suggested to Healthing that preparing a script can help, if you’re someone who tends to stumble over your words or lose your conviction.

Consider sending a gift

If it’s a formal dinner and you have the means, you could consider sending over flowers or pitching in for a pie. Even sending a card is a nice gesture, either before or after the meal itself — just something that shows that you’re thinking about that person, and that you do actually want to spend time with them in the future.

Don’t take it personally If they get mad you

If you’ve gone out of your way to be kind and considerate and someone still doesn’t accept your choice, that’s not your fault. These are unprecedented times, and everyone is struggling to some extent. Making the right decision for yourself is more important than putting yourself at risk when you don’t want to.

“We are dealing with a worldwide pandemic and this is what our current state of affairs looks like,” Swann told the LA Times. “It’s really important for us to be mindful in that regard and be bold and empowered enough . Right now you’re doing your part for the health of yourself and your loved ones.”


How To Politely Decline An Invitation To Thanksgiving Dinner

One of the more complicated parts of navigating the world right now is figuring out what feels safe to you, and how that fits in with the decisions being made by the people around you. Figuring out your own boundaries is complicated enough, and then you have to hope they match up with your parents’ boundaries, or those of your friends, or your in-laws, or your neighbours.

Ahead of the holidays, a lot of us will likely have to make tough calls about whether it feels safe to get together. With rising COVID-19 case loads and vague, sometimes conflicting messaging from our governments, it’s a stressful situation without a ton of clarity — but the safest choice is not being indoors with people who you don’t live with.

If you’ve decided you don’t feel safe going to a Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas gathering or anywhere else this season, and you need to politely decline an invitation from a well-meaning friend or family member, here’s how to do it.

Stick to your decision

It’s not easy to figure out our own boundaries right now. But once we’ve arrived at a conclusion, experts say it’s best to stick to our guns and not let ourselves by swayed by anyone else’s choices.

“The challenge is to not second-guess ourselves,” psychologist Dr. Vaile Wright told USA Today. “Once we made whatever that risk-benefit analysis is for us and our families about what feels safe and OK for us, then we need to just be OK with that decision and kind of move forward.”

Be clear and straightforward

You shouldn’t have to get too detailed about your own decision-making process. Just saying something like, “I wish I could be there but I’m avoiding indoor gatherings because of COVID,” is clear and understandable.

“Your sole purpose is to accept or decline an invitation. We’re taking on too much with the feeling that we need to go into detail and explain,” etiquette expert Elaine Swann told the Los Angeles Times.

Going into too much detail “is where you open yourself up for conversation and scrutiny and debate,” she said.

Use “I” statements to avoid sounding judgy

When you’re talking to the person whose invitation you’re declining, focus on your own thinking rather than theirs, so that what you’re saying doesn’t sound accusatory.

“The tricky part of this, of course, is the potential that the other person might feel like we are judging their position or saying, ‘You shouldn’t be doing X,’” University of Toronto psychology professor Steven Joordens told Global News.

Wright told USA Today to avoid “you statements.”

“Saying something like, ‘You aren’t following the rules, therefore I can’t come over to Thanksgiving,’ is going to make the other person defensive and you’re not going to be as effective,” she said.

Instead, say something about yourself, like ”‘I feel uncomfortable bringing my family around this year, so we’re going to have to say no to Thanksgiving.’”

Convey your disappointment

According to Joordens, talking about the dinner as something you’re sad to have to opt out of, rather than something unpleasant that’s being hoisted on you, will make a big difference.

“It’s very perfectly reasonable to say, ‘You know, I really appreciate it. You don’t know how much I would love to spend that time with you. Like all of you, I’m really missing that horribly. But I’m worried,’” he told the outlet.

If it’s clear to the host that it’s the circumstances you have to say no to, not their generosity, they’re less likely to feel rejected.

Saying something like “It’s hard for me to tell you this because I really want to be there, but I won’t be able to enjoy myself because I’ll be too nervous” might get the message across.

Suggest an alternative

Suggesting a Thanksgiving Zoom call, or a long phone call the next day, might make your declining the invitation easier for the host to accept. That way, you’re not offering them a blanket no, you’re offering something else instead.

Practice if you’re nervous

If you’re someone who doesn’t have a ton of practice being assertive, it can be helpful to plan out what you’re going to say and how you want to say it. Saying something out loud a few times can make a big difference in how convincing and firm you make it sound.

Joordens suggested to Healthing that preparing a script can help, if you’re someone who tends to stumble over your words or lose your conviction.

Consider sending a gift

If it’s a formal dinner and you have the means, you could consider sending over flowers or pitching in for a pie. Even sending a card is a nice gesture, either before or after the meal itself — just something that shows that you’re thinking about that person, and that you do actually want to spend time with them in the future.

Don’t take it personally If they get mad you

If you’ve gone out of your way to be kind and considerate and someone still doesn’t accept your choice, that’s not your fault. These are unprecedented times, and everyone is struggling to some extent. Making the right decision for yourself is more important than putting yourself at risk when you don’t want to.

“We are dealing with a worldwide pandemic and this is what our current state of affairs looks like,” Swann told the LA Times. “It’s really important for us to be mindful in that regard and be bold and empowered enough . Right now you’re doing your part for the health of yourself and your loved ones.”


How To Politely Decline An Invitation To Thanksgiving Dinner

One of the more complicated parts of navigating the world right now is figuring out what feels safe to you, and how that fits in with the decisions being made by the people around you. Figuring out your own boundaries is complicated enough, and then you have to hope they match up with your parents’ boundaries, or those of your friends, or your in-laws, or your neighbours.

Ahead of the holidays, a lot of us will likely have to make tough calls about whether it feels safe to get together. With rising COVID-19 case loads and vague, sometimes conflicting messaging from our governments, it’s a stressful situation without a ton of clarity — but the safest choice is not being indoors with people who you don’t live with.

If you’ve decided you don’t feel safe going to a Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas gathering or anywhere else this season, and you need to politely decline an invitation from a well-meaning friend or family member, here’s how to do it.

Stick to your decision

It’s not easy to figure out our own boundaries right now. But once we’ve arrived at a conclusion, experts say it’s best to stick to our guns and not let ourselves by swayed by anyone else’s choices.

“The challenge is to not second-guess ourselves,” psychologist Dr. Vaile Wright told USA Today. “Once we made whatever that risk-benefit analysis is for us and our families about what feels safe and OK for us, then we need to just be OK with that decision and kind of move forward.”

Be clear and straightforward

You shouldn’t have to get too detailed about your own decision-making process. Just saying something like, “I wish I could be there but I’m avoiding indoor gatherings because of COVID,” is clear and understandable.

“Your sole purpose is to accept or decline an invitation. We’re taking on too much with the feeling that we need to go into detail and explain,” etiquette expert Elaine Swann told the Los Angeles Times.

Going into too much detail “is where you open yourself up for conversation and scrutiny and debate,” she said.

Use “I” statements to avoid sounding judgy

When you’re talking to the person whose invitation you’re declining, focus on your own thinking rather than theirs, so that what you’re saying doesn’t sound accusatory.

“The tricky part of this, of course, is the potential that the other person might feel like we are judging their position or saying, ‘You shouldn’t be doing X,’” University of Toronto psychology professor Steven Joordens told Global News.

Wright told USA Today to avoid “you statements.”

“Saying something like, ‘You aren’t following the rules, therefore I can’t come over to Thanksgiving,’ is going to make the other person defensive and you’re not going to be as effective,” she said.

Instead, say something about yourself, like ”‘I feel uncomfortable bringing my family around this year, so we’re going to have to say no to Thanksgiving.’”

Convey your disappointment

According to Joordens, talking about the dinner as something you’re sad to have to opt out of, rather than something unpleasant that’s being hoisted on you, will make a big difference.

“It’s very perfectly reasonable to say, ‘You know, I really appreciate it. You don’t know how much I would love to spend that time with you. Like all of you, I’m really missing that horribly. But I’m worried,’” he told the outlet.

If it’s clear to the host that it’s the circumstances you have to say no to, not their generosity, they’re less likely to feel rejected.

Saying something like “It’s hard for me to tell you this because I really want to be there, but I won’t be able to enjoy myself because I’ll be too nervous” might get the message across.

Suggest an alternative

Suggesting a Thanksgiving Zoom call, or a long phone call the next day, might make your declining the invitation easier for the host to accept. That way, you’re not offering them a blanket no, you’re offering something else instead.

Practice if you’re nervous

If you’re someone who doesn’t have a ton of practice being assertive, it can be helpful to plan out what you’re going to say and how you want to say it. Saying something out loud a few times can make a big difference in how convincing and firm you make it sound.

Joordens suggested to Healthing that preparing a script can help, if you’re someone who tends to stumble over your words or lose your conviction.

Consider sending a gift

If it’s a formal dinner and you have the means, you could consider sending over flowers or pitching in for a pie. Even sending a card is a nice gesture, either before or after the meal itself — just something that shows that you’re thinking about that person, and that you do actually want to spend time with them in the future.

Don’t take it personally If they get mad you

If you’ve gone out of your way to be kind and considerate and someone still doesn’t accept your choice, that’s not your fault. These are unprecedented times, and everyone is struggling to some extent. Making the right decision for yourself is more important than putting yourself at risk when you don’t want to.

“We are dealing with a worldwide pandemic and this is what our current state of affairs looks like,” Swann told the LA Times. “It’s really important for us to be mindful in that regard and be bold and empowered enough . Right now you’re doing your part for the health of yourself and your loved ones.”


How To Politely Decline An Invitation To Thanksgiving Dinner

One of the more complicated parts of navigating the world right now is figuring out what feels safe to you, and how that fits in with the decisions being made by the people around you. Figuring out your own boundaries is complicated enough, and then you have to hope they match up with your parents’ boundaries, or those of your friends, or your in-laws, or your neighbours.

Ahead of the holidays, a lot of us will likely have to make tough calls about whether it feels safe to get together. With rising COVID-19 case loads and vague, sometimes conflicting messaging from our governments, it’s a stressful situation without a ton of clarity — but the safest choice is not being indoors with people who you don’t live with.

If you’ve decided you don’t feel safe going to a Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas gathering or anywhere else this season, and you need to politely decline an invitation from a well-meaning friend or family member, here’s how to do it.

Stick to your decision

It’s not easy to figure out our own boundaries right now. But once we’ve arrived at a conclusion, experts say it’s best to stick to our guns and not let ourselves by swayed by anyone else’s choices.

“The challenge is to not second-guess ourselves,” psychologist Dr. Vaile Wright told USA Today. “Once we made whatever that risk-benefit analysis is for us and our families about what feels safe and OK for us, then we need to just be OK with that decision and kind of move forward.”

Be clear and straightforward

You shouldn’t have to get too detailed about your own decision-making process. Just saying something like, “I wish I could be there but I’m avoiding indoor gatherings because of COVID,” is clear and understandable.

“Your sole purpose is to accept or decline an invitation. We’re taking on too much with the feeling that we need to go into detail and explain,” etiquette expert Elaine Swann told the Los Angeles Times.

Going into too much detail “is where you open yourself up for conversation and scrutiny and debate,” she said.

Use “I” statements to avoid sounding judgy

When you’re talking to the person whose invitation you’re declining, focus on your own thinking rather than theirs, so that what you’re saying doesn’t sound accusatory.

“The tricky part of this, of course, is the potential that the other person might feel like we are judging their position or saying, ‘You shouldn’t be doing X,’” University of Toronto psychology professor Steven Joordens told Global News.

Wright told USA Today to avoid “you statements.”

“Saying something like, ‘You aren’t following the rules, therefore I can’t come over to Thanksgiving,’ is going to make the other person defensive and you’re not going to be as effective,” she said.

Instead, say something about yourself, like ”‘I feel uncomfortable bringing my family around this year, so we’re going to have to say no to Thanksgiving.’”

Convey your disappointment

According to Joordens, talking about the dinner as something you’re sad to have to opt out of, rather than something unpleasant that’s being hoisted on you, will make a big difference.

“It’s very perfectly reasonable to say, ‘You know, I really appreciate it. You don’t know how much I would love to spend that time with you. Like all of you, I’m really missing that horribly. But I’m worried,’” he told the outlet.

If it’s clear to the host that it’s the circumstances you have to say no to, not their generosity, they’re less likely to feel rejected.

Saying something like “It’s hard for me to tell you this because I really want to be there, but I won’t be able to enjoy myself because I’ll be too nervous” might get the message across.

Suggest an alternative

Suggesting a Thanksgiving Zoom call, or a long phone call the next day, might make your declining the invitation easier for the host to accept. That way, you’re not offering them a blanket no, you’re offering something else instead.

Practice if you’re nervous

If you’re someone who doesn’t have a ton of practice being assertive, it can be helpful to plan out what you’re going to say and how you want to say it. Saying something out loud a few times can make a big difference in how convincing and firm you make it sound.

Joordens suggested to Healthing that preparing a script can help, if you’re someone who tends to stumble over your words or lose your conviction.

Consider sending a gift

If it’s a formal dinner and you have the means, you could consider sending over flowers or pitching in for a pie. Even sending a card is a nice gesture, either before or after the meal itself — just something that shows that you’re thinking about that person, and that you do actually want to spend time with them in the future.

Don’t take it personally If they get mad you

If you’ve gone out of your way to be kind and considerate and someone still doesn’t accept your choice, that’s not your fault. These are unprecedented times, and everyone is struggling to some extent. Making the right decision for yourself is more important than putting yourself at risk when you don’t want to.

“We are dealing with a worldwide pandemic and this is what our current state of affairs looks like,” Swann told the LA Times. “It’s really important for us to be mindful in that regard and be bold and empowered enough . Right now you’re doing your part for the health of yourself and your loved ones.”


How To Politely Decline An Invitation To Thanksgiving Dinner

One of the more complicated parts of navigating the world right now is figuring out what feels safe to you, and how that fits in with the decisions being made by the people around you. Figuring out your own boundaries is complicated enough, and then you have to hope they match up with your parents’ boundaries, or those of your friends, or your in-laws, or your neighbours.

Ahead of the holidays, a lot of us will likely have to make tough calls about whether it feels safe to get together. With rising COVID-19 case loads and vague, sometimes conflicting messaging from our governments, it’s a stressful situation without a ton of clarity — but the safest choice is not being indoors with people who you don’t live with.

If you’ve decided you don’t feel safe going to a Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas gathering or anywhere else this season, and you need to politely decline an invitation from a well-meaning friend or family member, here’s how to do it.

Stick to your decision

It’s not easy to figure out our own boundaries right now. But once we’ve arrived at a conclusion, experts say it’s best to stick to our guns and not let ourselves by swayed by anyone else’s choices.

“The challenge is to not second-guess ourselves,” psychologist Dr. Vaile Wright told USA Today. “Once we made whatever that risk-benefit analysis is for us and our families about what feels safe and OK for us, then we need to just be OK with that decision and kind of move forward.”

Be clear and straightforward

You shouldn’t have to get too detailed about your own decision-making process. Just saying something like, “I wish I could be there but I’m avoiding indoor gatherings because of COVID,” is clear and understandable.

“Your sole purpose is to accept or decline an invitation. We’re taking on too much with the feeling that we need to go into detail and explain,” etiquette expert Elaine Swann told the Los Angeles Times.

Going into too much detail “is where you open yourself up for conversation and scrutiny and debate,” she said.

Use “I” statements to avoid sounding judgy

When you’re talking to the person whose invitation you’re declining, focus on your own thinking rather than theirs, so that what you’re saying doesn’t sound accusatory.

“The tricky part of this, of course, is the potential that the other person might feel like we are judging their position or saying, ‘You shouldn’t be doing X,’” University of Toronto psychology professor Steven Joordens told Global News.

Wright told USA Today to avoid “you statements.”

“Saying something like, ‘You aren’t following the rules, therefore I can’t come over to Thanksgiving,’ is going to make the other person defensive and you’re not going to be as effective,” she said.

Instead, say something about yourself, like ”‘I feel uncomfortable bringing my family around this year, so we’re going to have to say no to Thanksgiving.’”

Convey your disappointment

According to Joordens, talking about the dinner as something you’re sad to have to opt out of, rather than something unpleasant that’s being hoisted on you, will make a big difference.

“It’s very perfectly reasonable to say, ‘You know, I really appreciate it. You don’t know how much I would love to spend that time with you. Like all of you, I’m really missing that horribly. But I’m worried,’” he told the outlet.

If it’s clear to the host that it’s the circumstances you have to say no to, not their generosity, they’re less likely to feel rejected.

Saying something like “It’s hard for me to tell you this because I really want to be there, but I won’t be able to enjoy myself because I’ll be too nervous” might get the message across.

Suggest an alternative

Suggesting a Thanksgiving Zoom call, or a long phone call the next day, might make your declining the invitation easier for the host to accept. That way, you’re not offering them a blanket no, you’re offering something else instead.

Practice if you’re nervous

If you’re someone who doesn’t have a ton of practice being assertive, it can be helpful to plan out what you’re going to say and how you want to say it. Saying something out loud a few times can make a big difference in how convincing and firm you make it sound.

Joordens suggested to Healthing that preparing a script can help, if you’re someone who tends to stumble over your words or lose your conviction.

Consider sending a gift

If it’s a formal dinner and you have the means, you could consider sending over flowers or pitching in for a pie. Even sending a card is a nice gesture, either before or after the meal itself — just something that shows that you’re thinking about that person, and that you do actually want to spend time with them in the future.

Don’t take it personally If they get mad you

If you’ve gone out of your way to be kind and considerate and someone still doesn’t accept your choice, that’s not your fault. These are unprecedented times, and everyone is struggling to some extent. Making the right decision for yourself is more important than putting yourself at risk when you don’t want to.

“We are dealing with a worldwide pandemic and this is what our current state of affairs looks like,” Swann told the LA Times. “It’s really important for us to be mindful in that regard and be bold and empowered enough . Right now you’re doing your part for the health of yourself and your loved ones.”



Comments:

  1. I congratulate, you were visited by admirable thought

  2. Osmar

    It is the phrase simply incomparable)

  3. Dwaine

    Talent did not say ..



Write a message